DAY 29: Tales Of Sleepless Break-Ups And Poor Tinder Match Ups

Day 29 Of How To Move On From A Man — 1LD

Mar 05, 2023

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For the entirety of Monday, whenever James asked, I pretend I felt tired. Exhausted. I had post weekenditus, I told him. I didn’t like lying to him but I didn’t want to tell him the truth.

I was going through one of those phases where I felt my only choice was to lie. The truth didn’t reflect too well on me; I didn’t get any sleep because I spent the whole night fixated on Douglas’s new-look Instagram feed.

And all the women who were fawning over his thirsty photos.

Interviews.

When I should have put the phone down, it got worse. I started googling him. I found an article from three weeks ago, where he talked about his single life and how he will always be a bachelor.

Relationships were too complicated for him. They didn’t fit into his lifestyle, nor did he have any interest in fitting them in.

Many media outlets were repeating his words. How had I not seen these interviews? Where had they been hiding weeks ago when I needed them? Or when I should have seen them?

When James left for the day, I locked the door behind him and slumped to the floor. The fatigue was real and I had let this situation consume me.

I crawled my way to the couch, turned on the tv, and binged three episodes of The Big Bang Theory. It was my go-to show at the moment, one I could switch my mind off and indulge in. It worked until I realised it was dinner time and I should probably do something about it.

Tinder.

As I went to ascend to my feet, my phone began to bing. I saw the Tinder notification and almost ignored it.

But as you can probably tell, my willpower wasn’t exactly at an all-time high. I opened it and saw some handsome man’s face staring at me. Hmm, I thought. Why don’t I find him as attractive as I should? Or, more to the point, as I once would have.

Stupid ex-boyfriends. Why do they hang around like this?

I swiped the man’s face and quite a few others until Malcolm’s profile appeared. It was Sophia’s boyfriend turned ex, turned boyfriend again. And there was the little indicator to say he had been active only four hours ago.

Part of me wanted to call Sophia straight away. The other part of me felt furious. I wanted to blame men, but that was too easy.

This was a people problem. It was about the way people do shitty things. It was about the way other people tested strong, impenetrable relationships.

Sharing.

And, to make matters in my life more complicated, I had another relationship problem on my hands.

Suddenly I wished James hadn’t left when he did. Now I needed him. Now I wanted to bring him into my problems.

This problem needed sharing. Oh god.

DAY 29: Tales Of Sleepless Break-Ups And Poor Tinder Match Ups

Day 29 Of How To Move On From A Man — 1LD

Interviews.

Tinder.

Sharing.

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