Day 52: Tales Of Stalking The Ex And Zero Regrets

Day 52 Of How To Move On From A Man — 1LD

Mar 28, 2023

It wasn’t until I stepped foot inside the conference yesterday that I realised this was the first official day of breaking my own pact to lay low until I figured out my break-up feelings. Until I felt like I was over Douglas and ready to move on.

If anyone I knew saw me here, they would raise an eyebrow at my behaviour.

Surely this was the opposite of being over him.

I was stalking him.

I was actively putting myself in front of my ex in the hope of seeing him and getting information out of him.

As I stared at the room full of faces I didn’t know, I wondered if this was a good idea. This wasn’t the actions of someone who was over their ex.

Quite the opposite.

No, these were the actions of someone who cared way too much about what someone else thought, felt, and their intentions toward them.

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On Sunday night when I went hunting for this conference, I had convinced myself this was me sorting my shit out. Now, in the reality of what I was doing, I was completely screwed.

That’s when I caught his face on the front cover of one of the conference’s programs and felt a rising anger. Despite my position in this, he was still inserting himself into my business somehow.

Sure, it was only liking our nonexistent Instagram page. But it meant he knew something I didn’t want him to know. And it meant he would be watching me when I didn’t want him to.

And I had to stop that.

The ballroom was lined with rows of white chairs, all pointed toward a makeshift stage set up with a big screen behind it. A man was already addressing the audience as I took my seat in one of the last rows.

Unknowingly, I joined the single women section of the conference.

I looked at each of these women with the same wonder; were they here to tell a man where to go like I was? Or were they here to make something of themselves?

Probably the latter. These women looked like they had it together.

I couldn’t see much of who was directly in front of me. But as I looked ahead of me, to the faces I could see, there he was. In a navy suit. Douglas, sitting with his leg crossed showing just enough argyle sock.

He was seated in the middle of the row, prime position.

To one side was a woman with an iPad. She was furiously taking notes. Every now and again he would whisper something to her and she would write it.

I guess he was allergic to taking his own notes.

Yet, that wasn’t the shocking part. The fact that the man on his other side was James was.

Day 52: Tales Of Stalking The Ex And Zero Regrets

Day 52 Of How To Move On From A Man — 1LD

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