Girl Returns Her Tiffany’s; Melbourne Hasn’t Caught Cupid Fever
Tales Of Week 2 Of The Andie Chronicles And Her Breakup
Day 8: Tales Of Re-gifting And Letting Go Of What Isn’t For You
“I think I know where we’re going but just in case I’ve got it wrong, feel free to elaborate.”
I didn’t realise I had got in the car with James and taken off without having explained anything.
The poor man didn’t have the nerve to ask until we were over twenty minutes into the morning traffic. Neither one of us had to deal with morning traffic ever since moving into my dining room office.
This little taste of the real world reminded us how much we loved our decision.
“You know we’re going to Douglas’ office. I have the gift in my bag.”
“So you’re returning your birthday paperweight, are you?”
I nodded whilst coming to another red light.
“I am. It’s not a gift for me. It’s not a gift for a girlfriend. It’s a gift his secretary picked out to give me. It’s a gift to make him look good when he’s been a complete asshole.”
I bit my lip.
I didn’t want anyone to know that I was struggling with this. I’ve never been a fan of letting frustration show after my best friend from high school dumped me for being too problematic.
It was now my mission to keep the drama to myself.
And this is what this was. It was drama. It was a six-month-old relationship coming to a natural end, albeit in a somewhat ugly way.
But this could all be worse.
Douglas and I could be married, have kids, or even be in love. We never said it to each other and probably for the best. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
At thirty-five, I vowed not to get hung up on relationships like these ones.
“You don’t think his secretary, what’s her name, bought it for you?”
“Angela. And yes I do. It’s a nice gift but it doesn’t have his name on it at all. He knows me better than a paperweight.”
James didn’t disagree with me. Whether he thought I was right or not wasn’t up for debate. Yet, even he knew a paperweight wasn’t a thoughtful, personal gift.
“I sort of can’t believe you’re going to give it back. It’s pretty badass of you.”
“You could say it’s the only way people learn you don’t take shit. You don’t take shit gifts.” We both laughed. We had to if we wanted to survive the morning.
I placed the bag on Angela’s desk. She looked it up and down. “Did you already have one, Andie?” James couldn’t hide his laughter.
“Yes, something like that. It’s beautiful though. Perhaps it would look nice on your desk, Angela. And don’t bother mentioning it to Douglas, I mean, your boss. It can be our little secret.”
She smiled at me. “Oh, you’re a dear. You and I share the same tastes. I had the most fun picking it out for you. The best assignment Mr. Gallo had ever sent me on.”
As she found a place on her desk for the paperweight, James and I left. Descending in the lift, I nudge James in the ribs. “I told you he didn’t pick it out for me.”
We both burst into hysterics, again. It wasn’t that funny, either.
Day 9: Tales Of Valentine’s Day Pity Presents And Absent Lovers (Who Should Be All Over You)
Mother fucking Valentine’s Day.
I always hated how close my birthday was to Valentine’s Day. I’ve never had a boyfriend who didn’t combine the two occasions. Assholes.
James and I made a reservation for Candy’s Bar tonight. We’re both dateless, and as best friends and business partners, we decided to toast us. Our relationship. Our singlehood. Even though Douglas and I hadn’t technically broken up yet, the writing was on the wall. A man doesn’t ignore you for a week, forget your birthday and then give you an impersonal gift if it wasn’t heading for disaster.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t want to try and make contact with Douglas and spend the night with him?”
We were in the middle of inspecting samples a new supplier sent us, the best we had seen in a long time. The box of fabrics reminded me of what we were doing here at 1 Lovelock Drive.
We were building a business we could love, a future for ourselves, and our dreams. You could say this was a romantic moment, in its own strange way.
“I want to spend the night with someone I love. That means you, James.”
He kissed me on the forehead.
“And I’m sorry I don’t have the right equipment to make it a special night for you. But I agree if a nice gentleman comes along between now and tonight, I won’t stand in your way.”
“Same here, babe. If Douglas shows up at your door tonight, I will graciously step aside for him.”
That was never going to happen and I don’t think that’s what I wanted either. Though I couldn’t ignore how indecisive I felt at that moment.
The doorbell rang an hour later. It was unusual for us because we didn’t have visitors during the day. James opened the door to find balloons and flowers spilling from a poor delivery man’s hands.
“Oh fuck, that’s a lot of romance right there.”
“Someone is very lucky. Biggest delivery I’ve done all day.”
James called me over and I helped him haul everything into the house. The balloons filled the entire kitchen and I had to move practically everything off the dining room table, our desk, to fit the flowers.
“Who are they for?”
“Andie, don’t be so daft. Of course, they’re for you. Douglas wouldn’t forget. And after yesterday.”
I shook my head.
“James, you don’t return a man’s birthday gift, and the next day he showers you with flowers and romance. This isn’t from him.”
The heartbreaking part was that I was right. After digging around for a card, we found a note tied to one of the bunches of balloons.
“To our darlings, have the best Valentine’s Day. We love you, GG and Taylor xx”
It was sweet. Our friends thinking of us. James seized the note from my hand. “Isn’t messed up you got flowers from your boyfriend’s brother? If it wasn’t for GG, you would convince he is the Gallo brother who loves you.”
Thanks, James.
Day 10: Tales Of Perfect Days Followed By Unwanted Lovers
Nothing happened today.
It was a perfectly boring day, with nothing worth fretting over happening at all. Even James felt underwhelmed, and he’s normally optimistic about the everyday grind redeeming itself.
But when he left right after five, we both hoped tomorrow would be somewhat more entertaining.
I was about to turn off the television and go to bed when I heard a car pull up in my driveway.
Lovelock Drive is so quiet, and the roar of this sports car could’ve woken the heaviest sleeper. I knew the sound well. It was Douglas’ Maserati, the one with the white leather seats.
It was the first car he picked me up in when we were secret lovers, screwing each other’s brains out without the judgment of others knowing.
I don’t know why I waited for him to knock on the door, but I did.
“What do you want?”
I know it’s not how you’re meant to talk to a boyfriend. He wasn’t my boyfriend, right now. He wasn’t the guy who cared about me and showed me how he felt. He was the guy making me question everything.
“I came to return this to you.”
He presented the blue Tiffany’s bag to me, the one I returned to his office two days earlier.
“I don’t want it.”
“Why? It’s Tiffany’s.”
“So I’m meant to love it because it comes from Tiffany’s? If you bought me a tie pin from Cartier, am I meant to love it even though I don’t wear ties?”
“It’s a paperweight. Who can object to a paperweight?”
“Did you really come here to talk to me about the gift? After everything that didn’t happen last week? How you’re not calling me back and the fact you’ve been totally absent? No? You don’t want to talk about that?”
“Babe, don’t be like that.”
I stared at him, my hand still clutched to the door. I wanted so badly to slam the door in his face. He was making it like it was my problem like I was bringing up something unnecessary.
He wasn’t facing the truth, in turn making me the bad guy having to bring it up.
This isn’t the shit people who care about others to do them.
“At least I’m doing something. This is the most you’ve done all week. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you and me? Call it. Say what you feel. Just do me a favour and stop stringing me along. I feel sick every time I call you my boyfriend because you’re so far from the boyfriend I know and care about.”
Douglas let out a big sigh.
He put the bag down at my feet and walked back to his car. I picked it up and took it straight to my outdoor bin and listened to it smash as it landed against the empty floor.
I know I should have found a better home for it but right now I didn’t care.
But I did care though. Way too much.
Day 11: Tales Of Friends Getting Their Life Together, And Partners Doing The Opposite
GG and Sophia both arrived at six on the nose.
It was unlike them to be there on time, but they told me they were desperate to leave work. It had been one of those days.
I didn’t complain.
Our Thursday meetings about Highway, our unisex clothing line, were the best part of my week. James and I got the opportunity to fill in our investors, our business partners, and our best friends on what we’ve been doing. And today we had a big announcement.
Earlier in the week we took samples from our favourite supplier over to their houses to get their thoughts.
They instantly loved them.
But that was half the battle. We needed to convince the supplier to take us on as clients, approving our designs and guaranteeing they can bring our creations to life.
It was a waiting game, one James and I did amongst the chaos of my personal life. But thankfully, with the news we received today, something else overshadowed Douglas’ crappy behaviour.
And the fact I’m pretty sure we’d broken up, even though we hadn’t had the “talk”.
Everyone took their seats around the dining table come office desk whilst I seized the champagne from the fridge.
“What’s all this for?” Sophia asked, happily taking a glass and drinking from it before anyone else. “Verve, my favourite.”
“This is a special occasion,” James said, raising his glass. “We got the supplier!”
We all cheered and clinked our glasses together and hollered loudly. You could feel everything change at that moment. We would remember this occasion for the rest of our lives.
It was when we would go from having an idea, chasing an idea to making it come to life. Sure, it wasn’t our first dollar in the bank. That would come, though.
We all believed it now.
“So how long until they can have the first samples of our designs ready?” GG was all about business, and I loved her for it.
“Four weeks,” I said. “It’s not as long as I thought but they stressed it’s a process and there would be a lot of back and forth to get things right.”
“And what about money? How much do they need up front?” I looked across at James who was holding the notebook from earlier, the one where we tried to do all the math on how much this would cost.
“We don’t have the final numbers yet. I don’t want to tell you and be wrong. At the moment, though, we need to give two grand for the samples. But that will get taken off the first order if we go ahead.”
Sophia finished her champagne.
“Send me the invoice and I will pay it in the morning. I don’t want four weeks to turn into six or eight weeks because of money,”
I watched my friends all night act with such professionalism and enthusiasm. They just got on with it; no fuss, no arguments, no bull shit. Unlike my love life.
Why couldn’t Douglas be like them?
Why couldn’t we talk about our relationship like this? To the point, with no fuss or cryptic silence. Why did it have to be so hard?
Day 12: Tales Of Avoiding Work And Avoiding Break-Up Triggers
I wouldn’t normally skive off work and go shopping.
But it was a Friday and James needed some new jeans. We decided the only place to go was Chadstone because they had everything there.
And it was an excuse to go into the designer stores and pretend like we could afford everything in there.
When we got there, Gucci had a massive line out the front. So did YSL and Tiffany’s.
“I thought it was only busy like this on the weekends and during school holidays. What the fuck is with the lines?”
“Bus tours,” I said. “Bloody shopping tours that drop people off here at ass o’clock in the morning and they don’t pick them up until five. They shop all day. And they come here because it literally has everything.”
I once got caught behind one of those buses on a Wednesday morning, making my way in for some sneaky midweek shopping. I couldn’t get over how many people got off this oversized coach.
“Should we come back later? Walk around and then try them after lunch?”
“Sure.”
But I had no intentions of living up to my bargain. I knew by the time we walked around the rest of the palatial shopping center, we wouldn’t feel like it. And besides, I couldn’t fathom walking into Tiffany’s and pretending it didn’t remind me of my fair-weathered boyfriend who wasn’t exactly telling me why out relationship was crumbling around me.
No, thank you.
I’ll save that for a time when I’m boozed up and getting laid.
“Do you ever think we will have a store in Chaddy?”
I hadn’t contemplated it before. Probably because I thought retail spaces were dead, although the shopping tours were suggesting otherwise. But I guess I hadn’t got so far past finding a name and getting a supplier to even think about a store.
“I mean it would be cool. A flagship store. Next to the designer ones?” We laughed. Hopefully one day we could call our idea of a fashion line designer. But not anytime soon.
“Why don’t we get you a new outfit?”
“What on earth for?”
James looked at me with a frustrated glare.
“Did you check your emails? GG wants us to have dinner at Bar Americano tomorrow night. Taylor is paying and she said some of his very chic friends will be there.”
“What about Douglas?”
I could only assume Taylor would want to invite his brother there. Yet, if he was going to be there, I wouldn’t be. I wasn’t going to subject our friends to immense awkwardness and ridiculous tension. Nor was I going to subject myself to it either.
“No, he’s in Singapore this weekend.” The disbelief on my face said it all.
“He’s where?”
Day 13: Tales Of Cheating Contemplation And Forgetting Your Man
“Can you cut the tag off this?”
I always do that. I manage to get the dress on before cutting the tags off. Thank god James was getting ready with me and I didn’t have to peel the faux leatherette dress off and get it on again.
I would have probably needed the kitchen oil spray to make that happen successfully.
“I’m so happy you got this. You look so sexy in it.”
James is gay, and not at all attracted to me, but the man knew when this woman was working it. “Do you think I might get laid tonight?”
James laughed.
“Oh yes, pick up one of Taylor’s friends. Wait and see how long it takes for that news to get back to Douglas.”
We both laughed but something inside me didn’t hate the idea of cheating on my boyfriend tonight. I mean, I didn’t actually want to cheat on him. I was crazy about him.
He was my world.
But I wasn’t his world right now.
He fucked off to Singapore yesterday without telling me. He’s not exactly telling me anything right now. I could be in the middle of Whoop Whoop and he wouldn’t know.
Or care.
But even if a man did take the slightest interest in me, a little jealousy couldn’t hurt the cause. And it would surely get back to him. His brother was hosting the dinner.
Taylor was the perfect blabber mouth.
“I couldn’t do that to him. I hate him right now. I hate what he’s doing to me. I hate the guessing games and feeling like I’m in relationship limbo. Despite all of that, and fuck loads more, I’m not going to cheat. In a way, that would make him the winner. That doesn’t seem fair.”
I couldn’t believe I said that last part out loud. Thankfully, James wasn’t one to judge. He knew better than anyone there were always winners and losers in love.
That’s the whole reason he is still single and not sure whether he’s even looking for anyone to settle down with.
James has never been a game player. He doesn’t believe love, romance, or relationships should be something that comes with medals in the end.
“Do you want to stay at my house tonight?”
Even though James was only a couple of streets away, I didn’t want to be alone.
“Yeah, is that ok? Then we can go to brunch in the morning.”
I packed a bag and then we walked around to his place before ordering an Uber. Two of them cancelled before a third committed, despite being fifteen minutes away.
Sometimes you feel like you’re always waiting in life. Waiting for Ubers. Waiting for a man to want you. Waiting for an end or a start.
“This bloody car better get here soon. If we’re late, GG is going to kill us.”
“What do you think about GG and Taylor? Do you think they will get married?” I wasn’t sure where the question came from.
Why did I have marriage on the brain?
“I don’t know. I guess she’s only been technically unmarried for half of their relationship. I don’t think I could see her marrying anyone ever again.”
A bleak thought. The car arrived.
Day 14: Tales Of Hangovers, Absent Friends, And Mysery One Night Stands
I didn’t love waking up in James’ bed and him not being there.
It was disconcerting.
Either he hadn’t come home, had slept in another bed because I was snoring too loud or he was up, chipper and I was the only one suffering in my hangover.
I ventured out of bed and wandered into his living room. I couldn’t see any evidence he was there. No keys, no phone, no wallet.
Perhaps I had come home alone.
I didn’t remember what had happened the night before. I intentionally blacked out the second half of the night after I told Taylor how much my heart was breaking from what his brother was doing to me.
I told him how miserable I had been. And how Douglas was tormenting me and how I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
It was all stupid drunk talk, designed only to make me feel better. Instead of trying to mend the situation with what I said, I choose to forget what happened next.
It’s not a healthy approach to life but it would have to do.
I went over to James’ coffee pod machine and placed one in. The sound of it brewing the drink hurt my head but I knew it would be worth it. I went out onto the small balcony adjoining James’ apartment and sat down with my drink.
The fresh air was heaven on my face. The coffee helped too.
And as I looked over the balcony down to the back of James’ apartment block, I watched a car pull up and James exit the backseat. He was holding a brown paper bag, and two coffees, and wearing the same clothes from the night before.
“Hellloooo” I called out to him. “How are you, dirty stop out?”
James hung his head.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t be up yet,” he called back up to me. “I was going to get changed and pretend I had been out to get these for us.”
“Well, you’ve been busted. Come tell me all about it.”
This was the perfect distraction from everything from the night before. A hook-up story involving James and some mystery man. I loved it. I could live vicariously through him.
James crashed through his front door and slumped on the couch. I sauntered over to him, took one of the coffees, and put my feet up on his lap.
“So, who’s the guy?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I clicked my tongue at James.
“Now, now, sharing is caring. You can’t not say anything to me.”
I was his best friend, after all, and there had to be something good to have come from last night.
“Don’t make me tell you where I stayed. You’re not going to like it.” Unless he had flown to Singapore to be with my absentee boyfriend I don’t imagine I could have hated it.
“James, just be real with me.”
“Fine.” He took a big swig of his coffee. “I stayed with Taylor and GG.”
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