People Gossip And For Some Reason, The Single Woman Needs An Intervention
People Gossip And For Some Reason, The Single Woman Needs An Intervention
Tales Of Week 3 Of The Andie Chronicles And Her Breakup
Day 15: Tales Of Secret Conversations And Impending Doom
James tells me his sleepover with GG and Taylor, my boyfriend’s brother, was completely innocent.
“We didn’t have a threesome,” he keeps saying.
I didn’t think it was GG’s thing to bring someone else into her bedroom. Not that my friend is possessive or anything like that.
But she’s never been the super adventurous type. It wasn’t until after her divorce that she even stepped foot into a sex store.
But for the rest of Sunday, James wouldn’t tell me what they were up to. I must have asked him ten different times, in ten different ways, in the hope of coaxing the answer out of him.
Eventually, my hangover took over and I left James and retreated to my sanctuary at 1 Lovelock Drive.
I stopped by the local milk bar at the end of the street and picked up ice cream and Ice Magic. I’m obsessed with the chocolate sauce that hardens on the cold dessert.
And after dancing and singing for most of Saturday night, my throat ached for something to soothe it.
When James arrived at work this morning, he found the empty container on the kitchen bench.
“You didn’t leave any for me?”, he said, throwing the empty container in the recycling bin.
“I didn’t think I had to,” I replied. “And I’m not into you analysing what goes into my mouth.”
“Well,” James started, “I’m not so into you analysing what comes out of my mouth. You were like a dog with a bone over my confession about Saturday night.”
I stared at James with this unhappy look. I took a deep breath.
“You won’t tell me why you didn’t come home with me. You have this secret from me, that you’re sharing with GG and Taylor. With Douglas not telling me what’s going on, I feel completely alone.”
I took another breath.
“I thought we were best friends. I didn’t think you would keep secrets from me.”
I felt like I was manipulating James with a sob story. But it was the truth and I was lonely and miserable and wondering what I did wrong to deserve this.
“Andie,” he began, “We’re not keeping secrets from you. You left so early, with my keys, and I ended up going back to their house for a nightcap.”
James put his hands on my shoulder. “Honestly, we were talking about your stupid boyfriend and how he’s playing with you and how bad it all is. I didn’t want you to hear we were talking about it. You have enough on your plate.”
I slid my arms around James’ waist and held him tight. “I get it.”
I did get it, I wasn’t lying again. It sucked they couldn’t have this conversation in front of me, but I got why.
Everyone talks about everyone, after all.
“Can you promise not to treat me like a delicate flower, though? Because I’m not. I’m so damn strong. I got this.” I repeated that mantra in my head.
James smiled at me. “Yeah, you do,” he agreed.
But I didn’t. Douglas, my absentee boyfriend, had messaged me earlier in the day asking for a sit-down chat this Friday. The talk. The big talk. And I was freaking out inside.
I knew the relationship was over.
To have it said, though? Cemented into history. Suddenly I felt petrified.
The end of the week was looming and I had the rest of the week to stew over it.
Not ideal.
Such is life though. And there wasn’t anything I could do to change it.
Day 16: Tales Of Sleepless Romance And Lovers You Can’t Control
I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Hardly any if I’m honest with you.
I kept thinking about what I would say to Douglas on Friday night.
How could I get in first? How could I say something that would make me the winner of the breakup?
What could I say to make sure I could tell everyone I was the one who ended it?
These were awful thoughts.
In reality, it doesn’t really matter who ends it, except when you want sympathy from loved ones. If you’ve cheated and broken your partner’s heart, you get nothing.
But if you’ve been walked all over and dumped unceremoniously, people often don’t have sympathy for you either. You should have seen it coming, right?
Either way, this whole breakup thing is a minefield. And when you see it coming, you can only do your best to navigate in a way that helps you sleep at night.
Considering I wasn’t sleeping, I thought I could take out some of my anxiety on the spin bike.
Better than sitting still and letting the thoughts take over.
I caught the early spin class and then did my usual session with GG. By the time I finished the second class, my legs and bum were aching, and I couldn’t think about anything else.
GG wanted to talk about what happened on Saturday night, about how James stayed with her and her boyfriend Taylor.
And talked about me.
“I just want you to know we weren’t having this big bitching session behind your back,” she explained, whilst handing me a strong coffee from the gym’s cafeteria. “We didn’t plan it. We’re all so worried about you, babe.”
I took a sip, realising how badly I needed the caffeine.
I didn’t want to tell her not to worry about me. That would be lying.
I was having a hard time, I felt like absolute poo and I wasn’t exactly enjoying my romantic life.
At all.
I kept thinking how single life was far less complicated than this.
“I appreciate your concern,” I began, with my measured tone. “But worrying about me isn’t going to fix this situation.”
I took another sip.
“You know who you should worry about? Douglas. He’s the one who’s acting strange. He’s the one facing some crisis in his life, I can only assume. Me? I’m dealing with something I can’t control. I can only accept the situation and try to move on.”
GG nodded. “I get it,” she replied. “Like when I found out my ex-husband was cheating on me. It sucks but without a magic wand, you can’t undo it. You have to deal with it.”
Once GG reminded me of her divorce, I suddenly felt tired, like I could sleep for days. A little perspective never hurt the cause.
I went home from the gym and found James already at the office. He also had coffee and cakes and the fixings to make baguettes for lunch. I looked at the spread in my kitchen.
“Wow, you’re really going all out for me, huh?”
James nodded. I picked up a coffee and drank from it, marveling at all his sympathy materialising in the form of food.
“James, you and GG have been so good during this time. But I have to ask. Do you guys know something that I don’t?”
I felt his eyes on me as I asked. “That’s silly,” he said.
The only thing that was silly was his answer.
Day 17: Tales Of Reinstalling Tinder And Click Fears
I woke up this morning and immediately seized my phone.
I scrolled through to find my app store and searched for Tinder. It had been a long time since I had any dating app on my phone, like at all.
Before Douglas, I had been on it for six months, maybe longer. I didn’t really find anyone but now I was desperate to do anything else but think about my relationship.
Scrolling through pictures of men and fantasising about an alternate future with someone else sounded pretty good. It would surely help the impending breakup I assumed was coming on Friday.
A man doesn’t ask you for a sit-down chat and not break up with you. Not after being an absentee boyfriend for the last two weeks, too.
As I went to hit install on the app, I hesitated. I felt my finger hovering over the button, moving back and forth.
Ugh, I hated this feeling. How could this one decision be so hard?
When James arrived for work, I immediately shoved my phone into his hand. He looked at it with surprise.
“Help me,” I began, “Please help me install Tinder. I want to but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it.”
James looked at me. He didn’t have to say anything. His expression said it all.
If you can’t press the button yourself, you don’t really want it.
“Babe, why do you want this nasty app? You know you never found any good guys on it before. Why now?” James handed the phone back to me.
“Oh come on, you know Douglas is going to break up with me on Friday. It doesn’t an expert to figure that out.”
I clutched my phone tight as I spoke. “Is it wrong of me to get one foot ahead?”
I felt out of breath asking that question. I felt exhausted down to my bones dealing with this situation. I was over it before it even happened.
“Sit down,” James demanded I follow him to the couch, something we never did during the work day.
“I have something to tell you.”
Just when I thought the request for a sit down on Friday was the worst thing someone could say to me, this would top it.
“Don’t sugarcoat it, James,” I said, taking my seat. “Lay it on me.”
He clenched his hands tight and then released them onto his lap.
“Ok.” He paused.
“Ok, ok. I don’t need to guess that Douglas is going to break up with you. I know he is.”
Day 18: Tales Of Game Planning Break Ups
Butcher’s paper. Check.
Big, fat coloured markers. Check.
Vodka. Check.
Everything was ready for our usual Thursday night meeting with James, GG, Sophia, and me.
Normally we talked about how Highway, our unisex fashion line, was coming along. But tonight James insisted we rework the agenda to work on pending matters; my break up.
Once James told me he knew Douglas was going to break up with me, I asked how.
It wasn’t like he had a personal, deep relationship with my boyfriend, enough that he would have confided his plans with him. And he didn’t say he had a hunch as I did.
He said he knew.
Tell me, I begged him. Tell me.
I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman. You don’t need to mollify this like we were in school and you are the parent. This isn’t gossip. This was information about my very real, very grown-up life.
Tell me.
James didn’t hold back when he told me how he came across the information.
After my birthday dinner, Douglas told his brother Taylor that he was ending it with me. But he had to find the right timing.
Of course, Taylor told his girlfriend, GG. And the other night, GG told James. Why GG didn’t tell me directly was baffling, but I understand. She was in the middle. Telling James would sort that problem out. T
his wasn’t a flow of information I wanted my friends to continue around me. Yet, as a once-off, I could forgive it.
I didn’t get upset. I thought I should but there were no tears, not even a hint of tears.
I couldn’t bring myself to feel even the slightest bit sad about the situation.
“James, this is brilliant.” When I said this to him, he looked shocked. It was almost like he was ready with a box of tissues, he assumed the worst, But I went on to explain.
“No, seriously. I don’t have to guess anymore. I know now. I know what he’s going to do. And that means I can plan for it. Really plan for it. I can have the upper hand, right?”
At the end of last night, James and I agreed to brainstorm an action plan to survive Friday night with my dignity intact. Once Sophia and GG got wind of the plans, they insisted on helping, too.
When everyone left, I looked at the butcher’s paper with relief.
There it was in colourful scribble; how I would handle the breakup. What I would say. How I would say it. What I would wear. How I would walk away from the man breaking my heart.
It looked so easy on paper, I admitted to myself.
Everything looks easy on paper. But it was less than twenty-four hours until these plans materialised.
The nerves were stacking up.
Day 19: Tales Of Planned Break-Ups And Not Sticking To The Plan
I knocked on the door of Douglas’ apartment.
Already my plan to survive this breakup and be the winner had gone down the toilet.
I wanted a neutral territory to host our conversation, somewhere neither one of us felt comfortable with. And instead, I found myself on his home turf.
Bad start, I told myself. I could recover though.
He opened the door and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I pulled back. I didn’t want him to touch me. Contact would be bad right now.
It wouldn’t help my resolve.
I outstretched my hand and pushed him away from his chest. “Let’s not pretend we’re something we’re not, ok?” He didn’t argue with me.
“Do you want a drink?”
Douglas already had a glass of wine set out for me, but I refused.
“No, I don’t want to stay long.”
He pointed to the outdoor patio for us to sit and talk. I thought the warm night air wasn’t a bad idea, but it wasn’t exactly conducive to making a swift getaway. There was another thing on the plan going wrong.
“You want to talk to me?” We hadn’t even sat down before I asked my question. “Or, more accurately, you want to break up with me?”
Douglas couldn’t look at me. “So they told you, huh?”
I laughed. “Gees, you think I needed my friends to tell me that? You don’t think much of me. And you don’t think I can see through your very shit acting skills. I knew you had checked out long ago. I just want you to say it.”
I couldn’t explain it to Douglas. But he was a man of the world and should know how this works.
It comes a time in every breakup when the person being dumped works out what is happening. When they do, they have zero plans on making it easy for the dumper.
That was me right now. I was taking a very staunch attitude. If you want to break my heart, it’s best you suffer the way I am too.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Douglas asked me, taking a big sip of his wine. I don’t think it was his first drink for the night.
“Enjoying this? Oh hell no. Once again, your judgment of character is way off.”
Douglas hunched his shoulders. “What do you want me to say?” I cocked my head in response. “How about, hey Andie, I want to break up. Try that?”
“It’s what I want to say,” he replied, stumbling over the words, “but I don’t want to hurt you.”
I thought about it for a moment. My instinct was to feel sorry for him, but I quickly remembered the butcher’s paper, the plans, and the resolution I came to.
No sympathy. Don’t show any sympathy to him.
“Gees, Douglas, grow up,” I said, coming to my feet.
“We dated for six months, not six years. I’ll say it. I want to break up. Good, are we done now?”
Day 20: Tales Of Single Sleeping And Avoiding The World
I woke up still in my clothes from the night before.
It was just past five in the morning and I was on my couch. I even had my shoes on, something that never happened. I remember coming home, collapsing on the couch with a tear-soaked face.
Yet, I didn’t imagine I would pass out here.
As it turned out, the drive home from Douglas’s place had taken its toll on me.
It started fine. I was feeling in control, having initiated the breakup. He didn’t have much of a reply to me as I forced his hand to make a decision.
Or, more to the point, when I made the decision for him.
But as I turned out of his street and onto the highway home, I felt the first tear run down my face. Before I knew it an avalanche of emotions followed.
I couldn’t believe it had happened. The breakup had been building for weeks you would have thought I would’ve felt prepared.
You would assume I would have done all my crying by now. Nope.
It was the opposite. I was so fixated on the event itself, surviving it, that I didn’t account for what happened next. The reality that the relationship I cared so much about, treasured, loved even, was now over.
And, no matter what I thought or felt, I couldn’t change that.
I was now a single woman, at thirty-five, feeling daunted by the future. I would have to get used to this new normal.
I peeled myself off the couch, showered, removed my smudged makeup, and climbed into bed.
The feeling of new linen sent me into a deep slumber. I had thrown out of the sheets Douglas and I had rolled around in. It felt right to start the cleanse with where I slept.
I stayed asleep until sometime past two, only woken when I heard my doorbell chiming over and again.
I checked the Ring and discovered it was James. I ignored him. There was no way I could face the public right now. I didn’t have the words yet, or the enthusiasm to explain what had happened last night.
Fatigue had well and truly taken over my body and it was winning at this moment.
I expected James to let himself in and see if I was home. He had a key after all. But he didn’t, leaving me be instead.
I wonder if he secretly knew I needed this time. I wonder if my silence said it all.
Another part of me thought he might think I was still with Douglas, that we had spent the night together having breakup sex.
If only.
That might have been a consolation; one last bit of pleasure to hold me over in my heartbreak. But alas, that wasn’t meant to be.
When would I have sex next? Gees, that’s a messed up question I have no interest in answering.
Day 21: Tales Of Friendship Interventions And Random Guests
GG texted me and told me to be at Candy’s Bar at midday.
I’m not asking you to be there. I’m telling you to be there.
You had to love her persistence. It turns out she knew what had happened. Douglas told his brother, who then told GG. She called James and Sophia and filled them in.
I wasn’t surprised that this happened but I would have loved to tell them myself.
It was my story, and to this point, my friends only knew my ex’s version of events. That didn’t really seem fair to me. And it was the second time this week the people in my life were speaking about my life without me in the conversation.
I didn’t have the enthusiasm to go to this little get-together. I didn’t want to see my friends yet. The thought of leaving my cacoon didn’t appeal much, either.
Thankfully Candy’s bar is at the end of my street so I didn’t need to drive or put in much effort to get there.
I contemplated putting on makeup but then ditched the idea once I held a brush to my face. What was the point? I figured I might as well look the way I felt.
I arrived ten minutes late and couldn’t find any of my friends in the small restaurant.
Trevor, the regular barrister was behind the coffee machine and pointed me to the back room.
“James reserved the private room.”
Oh shit, I thought. He’s making a fuss again. What was I walking into? An intervention? The temptation to leave reached a fever pitch.
I walked into the room to find the room filled with my friends and their partners.
GG was seated next to Taylor, and Sophia was with her ex Malcolm, who was somehow becoming her current boyfriend again. And James was sitting next to a mystery man, whose face I didn’t know. There was one spot available between Malcolm and the mystery man for me.
I looked at it and everyone else who was staring at me.
“Hi,” I said. They all smiled in collective unison. It was weird. These weren’t vibes I was into.
“I didn’t know we were having a party.”
James rose from his seat and hugged me. “We’re not. We’re all here for you. We all love you.”
It was sounding more like an intervention at this point.
I scanned the room and studied the empathetic faces. And the faces I didn’t know that well, didn’t know at all and didn’t care to have near me right now. Seeing Taylor only reminded me of his brother who dumped me.
No, nope, I couldn’t stay.
“Thank you. Really. But I’m good. I’m sorry you’ve believed whatever bullshit you’ve heard from my ex. He’s got it all wrong. I don’t need any of this.”
I went to leave and James grabbed my arm. “What the hell, Andie?” He was clearly offended.
“Are you serious? Do you think this is what I would want? A gathering of misery? Or the fact you haven’t even heard my version of events before assuming I need this?”
I looked at the stranger. “And who even is that?”
I didn’t wait for his response. I turned, walked out, and eventually ran the rest of the way home.
I deadbolted the door and went to bed.
You’re reading a recap of The Andie Chronicles, the 2023 romance-fiction series from the 1 Lovelock Drive (1LD) universe.
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